Internet Tests, I Love Having Proof

So I got served an Americano last night. It was not decaf. The following is why I try not to drink it. I was going to remove some of the test results, but since I am a little annoyed, I have a sudden urge to be annoying!

First, I did have a couple of bizarre dreams. The last one left me feeling jumpy and scared, so I GOT UP AT 4:00 AM!

1. I have been having a lot of shopping dreams. So many that last night I revisited a mall that had been a backdrop in a previous dream. When I saw a pair of shoes that I liked on display, I started to leave my group to go to the shoe department. Then I remembered that I had just seen everything they had and it was too soon for them to have added new inventory or dropped prices. I laughed when I woke up.

2. A big group of people were all staying overnight at someone's house for a type of slumber party. For some reason, I decided to sleep in the sideyard. I woke up hearing voices coming from the front of the house. They were strangers, not people from the party. I then realized that not only had one of them seen me, I had kicked off my sleeping bag and pajama bottoms in my sleep. I heard him going to get the others so I started looking for my pants. I finally found them and put them on while sitting down trying to maintain some form of modesty. I grabbed my teddy bear and ran around the house to the back door just as I heard them coming. The dream suddenly turned very frightening and I woke up yelling.

Sometimes when I wake up from those, I can't let myself go back to sleep because I go straight back to the nightmare or something worse happens. So, I got up instead thinking I would go back to sleep at daybreak when I would be less likely to have a bad dream. It is now 8:00; I am still not tired and now I have to go take my Adderall. I am so curious as to what today will be like. The good news is I barely feel fatigued. I almost feel normal.

One thing I am sure of is that there is a nap in my future.

Your result for The 3 Variable Funny Test...

the Cutting Edge

(57% dark, 42% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK



Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.


PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi




The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

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Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 87% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

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Your result for The Personality Defect Test...

Televangelist

You are 29% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST!

Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (though not a very good one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational, and you tend to think that sound logical reasoning is overrated, and that it is much better to trust your gut instincts--which must be pretty big instincts, considering the size of your gut. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings. Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. You could easily fleece people of their money and their dignity like so many sheep. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive shit spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE. Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening. Except for a few bums. But they just want you to feed them crackers and wine.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Your result for The What type of MAN turns you on Test...

Tough guy

You scored 85% masculine, 71% athletic, 45% exotic, and 50% refined!

You love men, you love testosterone and you know it. You like a bad-ass man who knows what he wants. He isn't what you might bring home to mom but I don't think it really matters - he's hot! Someone like.....Vin Diesel. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

Take The What type of MAN turns you on Test at OkCupid

Your result for The Brutally Honest Personality Test...

Scumbag- ENFP

60% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 40% Thinking, 40% Judging

I have a feeling you're not going to like this much. Do I care? No. How do I know? It's because you hate criticism. You love to be loved and you'll do anything to be accepted.

Unfortunately for you, I can see right through your insincere compliments and over-the-top greetings. No matter what you do, I'll always hate you for what you are. An arrogant, unstable, overly enthusiastic scumbag.

I bet you're pretty proud of your accomplishments, huh? You seem to achieve at whatever you put your little mind too. Trust me. Nobody likes the person who is good at everything. NOBODY LIKES YOU.

This might also have something to do with the fact that you're a cheating machine. You're just not the type of person to make long-term commitments. You enjoy seeing "what could be", rather than being satisfied with "what is." This, of course, means you often leave others in the dust while you seek out another lover.

Well, at least you're not the one left in the dust.

Unfortunately, when you're the one lying in the gutter with a bloody knife in your back, you might think differently.

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If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

Take The Brutally Honest Personality Test at OkCupid